Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
