I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
BRING THE BAGELS
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
