hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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