just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
