Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
