there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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