There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
