I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
