SEEEEXXX PLEASE
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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