Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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