Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize