so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Randomize
