yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
