Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Randomize
