have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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