apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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