Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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