Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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