it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
