I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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