i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
