We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Randomize
