Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
