i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
