All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize