Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
