We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
