Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
