Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
i dont even know how to be here
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
