too bad you live with your parents still
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
foreskin is a definite game changer
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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