My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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