the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
