if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
two words...techno handjob
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Randomize
