I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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