you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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