is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
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