quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize