i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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