i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
