Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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