please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
