so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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