Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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