So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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