I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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