Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Randomize
