I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
