I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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