i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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