You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
