CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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