No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
