I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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