No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Randomize
