hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
