Grow some girl-balls and come out already
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
