i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
