Having a random hookup so left but love u
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize
