she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
