But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
her facebook's as public as her vagina
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
