I'm gonna have a badass scar
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
