I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
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